D A . R U L E S !

Rules For Players --- 

1. None of the following will be tolerated at my table - Racism, Sexism, Transphobia, etc. I shouldn't have to say it but there it is. In the same vein, please refrain from harassing other players or their characters for any reason, and note that sexual content belongs outside the game.
2. We are all here to play a game together, so while the game is in session please focus on the game and refrain from scrolling facebook or playing other games in the background. We all think we can do both, and many of us probably can, but the truth is, it's still splitting your attention and detracting from your engagement with the people and story around you.
3. Metagaming to a certain extent is expected and even encouraged, the DM will however remind the players that almost none of the monsters they encounter will be identical to printed monsters. Metagaming comes with inherent risks of it's own.
4. Giving tactical advice and communicating with your party will be key to survival, but there is a difference between advice and micro managing. We are all here to have fun, and not everyone's version involves maximized efficiency... I don't give a fuck how good your idea is, let people play their own character not your idea of their character.
5. The group story and group enjoyment supersede any individual characters story, "my character would go against the entire party's interest and derail the whole fucking campaign, so that's what I'm going to do" simply won't fly at this table. Your relationships with the people at the table are more important than your character.

Rules For Characters --- 

1. There will be plenty of racist NPCs but I will ask that players refrain from creating racist or sexist characters. It's a worn out trope and results in unnecessary tension in parties that have enough of that to begin with. No one cares about your "I hate elves" schtick.
2. NO Evil Characters, you don't have to be the most goody goody hero of all time, but no blatantly evil characters, this will be enforced throughout the campaign, not just at character creation. There will be plenty of morally grey moments provided by the nature of the campaigns, no need to go looking for children to scam or nuns to kill.
3. You ARE going to be in a party together, so find a reason your character would want to be here, with these people, or make a new character that wants to join the merry group. This also means no infighting.
4. The edgy silent guy who leans against the tavern wall and only cares about himself, The barbarian who is just here to murder people and has no patience for roleplay, are great examples of characters that you should avoid. d&d isn't a video game and should never be played as such. There's a time and place for playing out power fantasies of steamrolling mindless goons, or being the edgy anti-hero, but that's not the table I'm running; it's Skyrim.
5. The group story and group enjoyment supersede any individual characters story, "my character would go against the entire party's interest and derail the whole fucking campaign, so that's what I'm going to do" simply won't fly at this table. Your relationships with the people at the table are more important than your character.

Rules For Play at the Table --- 

Probably a section for later with shit like... don't fuckin roll until you're supposed to, and pay attention to the turn order, and shit like that. I dunno.